This Week’s Passage: ¹⁰ Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹ Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

As I ponder this passage there are three words that catch my attention:

1) “Finally ” v.10 – Paul has had a lot to say about a lof things in this epistle. In chapters 1-3 he talked theology. In chapters 4- 6 he talked praxis. As he brings things to a close and talks about the armor of God he helps the Ephesian believers (and us) to know what we are up against as we bring theology and praxis together. Finally, he says, don’t underestimate the fact that you are in a war. Finally, he says, don’t ever discount the fact that Satan is real. Finally, he says, don’t ever forget that the power of the living God dwells within you.

2) “when” v. 13 – Paul pleads with us to make sure we are armored so that “when the day of evil comes…” Not if, but when! We have a tendency to get lulled into a false sense of safety because the war we fight is an invisible war. We don’t see the flaming arrows of the evil one. We don’t see the forces of evil around us. So there is this question mark that we live with. “If”? Paul wants to make sure that there is no “if”. It is emphatically “when”. And more likely than not I would suggest that the “when” is NOW. The day of evil is upon us.

3) “stand” v. 13 – When Paul wrote this the church was very young. This is only about 30 years or so after the resurrection and the beginning of the church. Already Paul has watched friends fall by the spiritual wayside because they have become infatuated with the ways of the world and the lure of the evil one. He is crafty. He is a schemer. And his lies are shrouded in truth and his deceitfulness masked by beauty. He wants us to be aware of what the enemy is up to so that we too do not become a spiritual casualty. When all is said and done and the war is over he wants us still to be standing.

So he tells us what we need to do in order to stand. It would be wise for us to pay attention to what he says next. Ponder prayerfully.

I’m just sayin’!

Next Week’s Passage: Ephesians 6:14-20

This Week’s Passage:  ⁵ Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. ⁶ Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart. ⁷ Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people, ⁸ because you know that the Lord will reward each one for whatever good they do, whether they are slave or free. ⁹ And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do not threaten them, since you know that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with him.

We live in a quid pro quo society! I’ve always wanted to have an excuse to say that because it sounds smart. Quid pro quo – literally in Latin it means something for something. If you work hard you expect to get rewarded. If you study hard you hope get good grades. If you do something for someone they do something for you. If you  do enough for God you expect to be blessed. (Actually our society today is devolving into an entitlement society – something for nothing… but that  is for another discussion).

There are 2 things in this passage that I observe about work/reward:

1) Obedience brings blessing – this is a principle I see throughout Scripture. God does promise to reward His children for obedience. That reward may or may not be in this life but it will be in eternity. So we work hard on behalf of the Lord, doing what is right, because we know that we will reap the Lord’s reward. There is nothing wrong with that as a motivation. We just have to be careful that we do not equate reward from God as material blessings in this world because that may or may not happen. But when we maintain the perspective that the 70 or so years of this life is but a drop in the bucket to how long eternity is then it helps us to keep pressing on even when life on earth is difficult.

2) Being a hard worker is pleasing to God – God wants us to work hard. Not because we expect something in return but because it is the right thing to do. Often we are rewarded for hard work, but not always. Our motivation is not to be because we expect to get something  but because we are seeking to please God.

This is a lesson for me – I am as guilty as anyone about expectations for work done. I need to remember that it is the Lord God that I am serving in everything that I do. I want to be first and foremost a God-pleaser not a man pleaser because my reward will ultimately come from Him.

I’m just sayin’!

Next Week’s Passage: Ephesians 6:10-13

This Week’s Passage: Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ² “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— ³ “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”

⁴ Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Because I am a dad my pondering is drawn to verse 4: “Fathers do not exasperate your children.” And as a youth pastor for many years I have seen a lot of exasperated kids. The gospel is the key to overcoming this. Going back to the previous passage at the end of chapter 5, I think that when husbands learn how to sacrificially love their wives then they will carry this love over to their kids. And when kids see sacrificial love being lived out in front of them then the exasperation factor is diminished. Not that it will go away – it is a part of kid’s job description to be exasperated – but at least it will not be in response to dear old dad.

It is not often that I share what someone else has said in my ponderings but I came across an article that has some very good very practical tips that will help dads and parents alike to keep from exasperating their children. The author says it better than I can. You can find the original post HERE.

EAGERLY, HUMBLY SUBMIT TO THE WORD OF GOD. When you sin in front of your children, confess it. When you assert your authority over them, your children should clearly see the authority that you are submitting to. Your submission to God is your qualification to teach them. Let them see it, and they will know that you aren’t a petty tyrant.

DON’T PIGEONHOLE YOUR CHILDREN. Seemingly harmless things like calling your children “the artistic one,” “the athletic one,” or “the loving one” can make your children feel like their value to you is tied up in one characteristic. It can further invite sibling rivalry and resentments. Moreover, sets you up to stop trying to learn about them, as you begin to interpret everything through that expectation and sets them up to think that that’s the only part of them you appreciate.

DISCIPLINE BIBLICALLY. When you discipline, make sure it has a biblical category. A godly parent can’t discipline for “being annoying,” “making a mess,” or “squirming.” Instead, look to correct disobeying, lying, or something that you can support with Scripture, Proverbs and Ephesians in particular. If there isn’t a biblical principle and name behind it, don’t discipline for it.

SET CLEAR EXPECTATIONS. Explain to your children in advance what you expect from them and what they can expect from you. Make sure they understand. This will greatly aid you in #3, as well as giving them the security of knowing what you want.

RECOGNIZE OBEDIENCE. Talk to your children when you aren’t correcting them. Talk about the things they do right. Tell them about specific things that you love about them. Let them know that you know them, that you think of them, and that you enjoy them.

LISTEN TO THE WHOLE STORY FIRST. With little kids you actually might have to take some time to get the story out. Don’t try to hustle past your children in an effort to quickly discipline them. The discipline is for their benefit, not yours. Make sure that they understand and that they know you are interacting with them.

HONOR YOUR SPOUSE IN FRONT OF THEM. Show love to each other in front of your children. Don’t be short, snarky, or snide with each other in their presence (or out of it for that matter). Children need to see Mom and Dad as one. Parents in fellowship with each other is one of the most basic elements for a secure home.

DON’T CHANGE YOUR BEHAVIOR TOWARD YOUR CHILDREN IN PUBLIC. Don’t correct them for things just because someone is watching. Security for a child means knowing that their parent is for them, and that when one of them corrects the child, it is for his or her benefit, and not so that others will think the parents have it all together.

DON’T TAKE YOUR CHILDREN’S SINS AS A PERSONAL INSULT. Never discipline with a break in fellowship. Don’t be “mad” at your children. Be anxious to have things reconciled.

FORGIVE. FOR REAL. If breaking the window has been forgiven, act like it. Forget it. Do not hold past incidents over your children, especially if you’ve told them you’ve forgiven them. Let it go all the way, every time, “as far as the east is from the west” (Psalm 103:12).

Good stuff! I’m Just Sayin’!

Next Week’s Passage: Ephesians 6:5-9

This Week’s Passage:  ²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶ to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— ³⁰ for we are members of his body. ³¹ “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” ³² This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. ³³ However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

As I pondered this passage this week I was reminded of a way that I should love my wife that I was already familiar with. And I observed a way of loving my wife that I had overlooked all these years. The power of pondering!

I should love my wife sacrificially – This is the way I was already familiar with. When I do premarital coaching this is what I talk about with couples. This does not mean, however, that I am good at practicing it. What I note is that it is imperative for the sake of my marriage that I think often and deeply on the cross. That I think intensely about the love that drove Christ to the cross. That I think thoroughly about why Christ had to go to the cross. That I think seriously about what the cross accomplished on my behalf. That I think about the profound sacrifice that Christ made to “save a wretch like me.” The better acquainted I am with Christ’s sacrificial love demonstrated so purposefully on the cross the better I will do at sacrificially loving my wife.

3 words come to mind that help me think about putting this into practice: 1) initiate – The husband is to be the initiator of sacrificial love as Christ was for His bride the church, 2) intentional – The sacrificial love of Christ had intentionality – to bridge the gap that existed between sinners and God. As husbands to our wives we are to love with intentionality – to bring our wives into deeper relationship with God, 3) incarnational – our sacrificial love is to be fleshed out in real and practical ways. It is to be more than just saying “I love you” – it is showing “I love you”… just s Christ did.

I should love my wife selfishly – Seriously, that’s what the text says. I had never really noticed this before or given it much thought. The one time the Bible calls us to be selfish is when it has to do with demonstrating love for our wife.  Go back and read verse 28. And then note in verse 31 the reminder that when we are married we are “one flesh” with our wives. And because we are one flesh the statement “I love me some me!” takes on a whole new meaning. Now, loving myself means that we selfishly (or perhaps selflessly) look after the needs of our wives – because by so doing we are looking after our own needs – and that is by nature what we do best. So it seems that when we understand what it really means to be one flesh with our wives then we can be as selfish as we want to – at least when it comes to showing love to our wife.

So here are my summary take home points from this passage. Look to the cross and love sacrificially. Understand the one flesh principle and love selfishly. They both make perfect sense in light of the gospel.

I’m just sayin’!

Next Week’s Passage: Ephesians 6:1-4

This Week’s Passage: ²¹ Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. ²² Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Admittedly, in our culture, the word submit has a bad connotation – especially in our liberated women’s world where it is offensive to think that men can tell women what to do. Agreed. But the cultural understanding and the biblical understanding are two different things. My theory is this – if women understood what biblical submission really was then they they would joyfully embrace it.

My working definition for the word “submit” for many years has been this: A wife’s willing response to her husband’s sacrificial love. Verses 25-33 of this chapter (which we will ponder next week) outline the husband’s role in marriage. Primarily he is to be sacrificial lover of his wife. In other words he is to love her in such a way that her wants come before his; her needs come before his; her hopes come before his; her dreams come before his; her pleasure comes before his. Now this is the question that I always ask couples who come to me for premarital coaching: What woman would not want to be married to a man who sacrificially loves her like that. And what woman would not joyfully respond (submit) to her husband’s sacrificial love knowing that whatever decisions he makes on behalf of her and the family are with her best interests in mind, not his.

(The problem of course is that men do a lousy job (I am pointing 4 fingers at myself) of sacrificially loving their wives – to the point that they feel like they have to take matters into their own hands. And then things begin to get all out of whack because marriages don’t look like God intended for them to. We’ll look at this more next week.)

Now apply this definition of submission to our relationship with Christ where we are the bride and He is the husband. Why do we have such a hard time submitting ourselves to God and His Word? I think it all goes back to a shallow understanding of the sacrificial love that Christ demonstrated for us through His life and on the cross. I have written about this before. If we really grasped how “wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ” then we would willingly and joyfully submit our lives  (our hopes, dreams, wants, needs) to Him. Husbands would be better husbands. Wives would be better wives. And the Church would be an attractive bride for all the world to see. So again I say… ponder this;

How deep the Father’s love is for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He would give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure.

How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One
Bring many sons to glory.

I’m just sayin’!

Next Week’s Passage: Ephesians 5:25-33