A decision on a rooftop – So in 1983 I graduated from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary up near Boston but was clueless as to what avenue of ministry to pursue. So Linda and I moved back to Raleigh and plugged into our home church, Providence Baptist, to wait on a clear sense of calling. A friend of mine gave me a job roofing houses, we were volunteering with Providence’s youth ministry, and we were trying to be patient as we waited for direction from God. It was on top of a roof one day that I sensed God calling me to student ministry. (He used my fierce dislike for being way up in the air in 90+ degree weather to make this clear to me). I approached our pastor about this. We began an internship at the church to seek confirmation. And I ended up spending 22 years as a youth pastor. I look back on that rooftop decision and realize that sometimes God will put us in places we don’t really want to be to get us ready for places that He does want us to be. I loved being a youth pastor and now I have the bonus skill of knowing how to roof a house.

March 3, 1986; October 27, 1987; August 22, 1990 – Yep, you guessed right – those are the days that my kids were born. VERY defining moments. It’s one thing to have your life changed by marriage and still another thing to have it changed by becoming a parent. Our kids are basically all grown up now. They make all their own choices and decisions now but allow us the opportunity to partially subsidize their lifestyle (not true for the married daughter). I am an incredibly blessed dad who has watched my kids grow into wonderful God-seeking young adults. Christy, Scott, Tucker – thanks for helping to define my life. You are each a treasure to me and you are very very loved.

A 10 day fast – In the Fall of 1998 I was in a spiritual stupor. I knew that I needed to do something to get back on track with God. I decided to do something I had never done before – fast for an extended period of time and use the time to seek God. I fasted from food and television for 10 days. My only nutrition was vegetable juice to keep from dehydrating. I spent 2 days at a retreat center just reading, thinking, and praying. It was during this time that I got introduced to the writing of John Piper. That week I read his book A Hunger For God: Desiring God Through Fasting and Prayer. His writing has probably influenced me more than anyone’s over the last 20 years. Especially his book Desiring God: Meditations of a Christian Hedonist. Highly recommended if you want a book that will challenge your thinking and feed your soul. My soul was fed during my time of fasting and I got back on track with God. By the way, it was only the first 3 days of the fast that were tough. The hunger went away after that but the habit of eating remained. It was the habit that I had to fight against.

June 14, 2008 – To some extent this was more of a BIG day than a defining moment but I can also make a case otherwise. This was the day that my daughter Christy got married to Chad Ferrell. This was also the day that I turned 50 years old. I joke and tell people that I threw myself a huge party for my birthday – inviting hundreds of guests to come and celebrate with me. But really the day was about Christy and Chad. And it was a great day. It was defining in the sense that the dynamics of our family changed on that day. In a good way. It was also defining in the sense that I was now eligible for AARP. This meant that I was officially classified as old. 50 was always the number that I defined as old. Not 40. Not 30. But 50. It was also the age that I had prayed that God would allow me to live to be. I started praying that prayer about 20 years ago. I called it my Hezekiah prayer. You see my dad had died when I was 13. I very much wanted to be around to influence my kids until they were grown and making their own decisions about life. 50 years old was the magic number. This was when Tucker, my youngest, turned 18, graduated high school and went off to college. My influence on their lives at this point was now going to be very diminished as they were all on their own and living away from home. So God answered my prayer and for that I am very very grateful. It doesn’t mean I don’t want more years to see my kids grow older and be around potential grandkids but it does mean that I have seen the faithfulness of God in my life and I am a extremely thankful. I am a blessed man!

I have no idea what defining moments wait for me in the future but I am excited about watching what God is up to and am thrilled to be a part of the great adventure of following Him. Whether I live to be 90 or die tomorrow I intend to live out my days serving the God who has rescued me, redeemed me, and entrusted me with a wonderful family, a great church, and a life worth living.

A comment at a conference – It was my junior year. I was 20 years old. I was an engineering major. And I was trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my life. I attended a conference that was geared toward those who were in the same boat as I was… on the fast track to a good job and worldly success but not sure that was really the way that we wanted to spend the next 40 years of our lives. I heard a speaker that weekend make a comment that changed the whole direction of my life. He said this: “There are only 2 things in this world that are eternal, God’s Word and people, therefore we should spend our lives investing in these 2 eternal things.” From that point on I began considering vocational ministry so that I could maximize the time I had to invest in eternal things. I decided to finish out my engineering degree since that was the quickest way out of college and began thinking about graduate school at a seminary where I could get theologically grounded. Lesson learned: You never know how something that you say may challenge someone to change the course of their life – for good or for bad – so be careful what you say.

Hearing God speak loud and clear (the third time) – It was the summer of 1980. Linda had graduated from UNC-G and I had graduated from Tulane. We had been dating (mostly long distance) for 1 year. We were at Myrtle Beach for the week hanging out with my family. One evening while walking on the beach I expressed to her that I was having some doubts about our relationship. This came from out of nowhere to her and made for a very awkward evening. I couldn’t sleep so I went out to the hallway of the condo complex where we were staying and was praying. Again, in the quiet of the night, God spoke very loud and clear to me – not an audible voice but as loud in my spirit as if it were audible. This time He said, “You are to marry that girl!” There has never been a doubt in my mind from that night on that Linda is supposed to be my wife. And here we are now, 30 years later, enjoying each other in a great marriage and the fruit of  what comes from willful obedience to God.

August 1, 1981 (8.1.81) – So I proposed on Christmas Day 1980 and we were married on August 1, 1981. We had a really fun celebration. A lot of my friends came up from Aiken. We were able to share with all our friends and family about how we intended for the Lord to be priority in our marriage. Wedding was Saturday afternoon. Flew to Atlanta for Saturday night and then to Bermuda for our honeymoon. It’s been a fun, fast 29+ years. God has used my wonderful bride to complete me, to help steer the direction of my life, and to be a fabulous helpmate as we have raised 3 children, served on 2 church staffs, and sought to navigate the sometimes rough waters of this world. It’s been a fun ride and I’m glad she has been with me every step of the way. We’re excited about what the next 30 years have in store.

***(The last few Defining Moments will appear in a later post)

My decision to attend Tulane University (New Orleans, La.) – I applied to 4 schools as a senior in high school: Clemson, Cornell, Duke, and Tulane. I got accepted to Clemson, turned down by Cornell, wait listed at Duke and accepted to Tulane. For some reason at the time I did not want to go to the same school that all my friends were going to – which was either Clemson or U of South Carolina. I chose Tulane for 2 reasons. 1) My grandfather had gone there, and 2) it had a very good engineering program. I went there and majored in Biomedical Engineering. I remember sitting in my dorm room before classes had even begun, not really knowing anybody, when there is a knock on my door. I open it and this young man says to me,”Hi my name is Dirk, I understand that you are a Christian.” Well, I certainly had not told anyone that I was a Christian at that point so I was a bit surprised how he knew this. It turned out that he was with Campus Crusade for Christ – thus began my college career and my association with CCC. Little did I know at this point how that first conversation would impact my life.

Hearing God speak loud and clear (the first time) – So my last year of high school I had begun playing games with God. I was Mr. good Christian kid whenever I was around the church but away from church I was acting in some very non Christian ways. The most obvious was partying and drinking. So off I go to Tulane, join a fraternity and continue my game playing. Of course this was not hard to do in “Sin City” with The French Quarter so close by. All the while I am getting more and more involved with CCC and even assuming some leadership roles. How do you spell “hypocrite?” So in January I think God was pretty saddened by my choices and decided to give me a chance to repent once and for all. I remember walking across campus from my fraternity towards my dorm when I heard God speak to me as clear as I ever have. It was probably not audible but it was nonetheless unmistakeably loud and clear. He said, “Decide now!! What side of the fence are you going to live on?” It was loud enough that it stopped me in my tracks. And it was loud enough that I knew I couldn’t just blow it off. That day is the day that I surrendered my life to the Lord. I quit the game playing, quit the drinking, and began seeking to know Him and to find out how to serve Him.

Hearing God speak loud and clear (the second time) – So fast forward 2 years, I am now in my junior year at Tulane. I have applied to go on a Campus Crusade beach project in Myrtle Beach SC. My thinking is that I can be a part of a project and still not be far from my home in Aiken for the summer. In early April I got notified by CCC that I was NOT accepted to the Myrtle Beach project but that I had been accepted to a project in Galveston, Texas. I had absolutely no desire to go to Texas for the summer so I fired off a reply to Crusade saying thanks anyway but I was declining their offer. I was lying on my sofa later that day listening to some music by Keith Green with my headphones on when God again spoke extremely loud and clear. This time He said, ” Go to Galveston! I’m not going to tell you why but you need to go to Galveston!” Again the voice was unmistakable. I knew without a doubt that God had spoken to me. So you know what I did? I went to Galveston that summer. And it was a life changing decision and a life changing summer… ’cause that’s where I met a young lady named Linda Tucker.

*The next 3 Defining Moments will appear in a later post